Chapter 9: Monitoring Appointment + Round II of Gonal-F

It's 8 AM right now, and my appointment is in 45 minutes, which means I should be heading out soon to get there while still leaving time for any parking problems this time around.

I am ANXIOUS. This is the first appointment for monitoring ultrasound + bloodwork after we have ever done any kind of medication and I am pretty sure I'm psyching myself out more than necessary but it's happening. Even more so because my husband can't come :( The sweet man said he would skip work and stay with me if that's what I wanted, but I told him that he would have to wait in the car either way, so he may as well just get a work day in. I just want to stomp my feet and throw an unnecessary tantrum, even though that will solve absolutely none of my problems. I sound like a child - sigh.

. . . .

So I made it in time for my appointment. Took 30 minutes to get there, and the appointment lasted not even a full ten minutes. Yes, I should be rejoicing and happy that I got done so quick. But the physician that I had today was a new one for me and I know it was just a quick ultrasound to see how my follicles were growing but she was just in and out, a quick, cold visit. I miss my regular doctor. The doc told me that my nurse would give me a call to let me know what to expect next. She had only seen one follicle growing (should there be only one or more than one with gonal-f? I should probably find out...) but it wasn't fully grown yet, so I anticipated needing to be back at the office soon for another appointment. I made a pit stop on my way home to get a smoothie as a treat just because I wasn't feeling too upbeat and needed a pick-me-up.

Fast forward to 12:29 this afternoon, I get a call from my nurse. I have to teach a small group session at 12:30 so I hoped that it wouldn't take long. When I answer, she tells me that due to the slow growing follicle, my doctor would like for me to take another 75 IUs of the gonal-f tonight at 7:30 and then come back in for another monitoring appointment on Friday morning (at my normal doctor's office - yay!). So I am hoping and praying that the sweet little follicle gets what it needs from the medicine tonight and starts to grow nicely. Hopefully that way when I go in on Friday, I'll be ready to pull the trigger soon after.

However, the office I go to is only open M-F so if I need to trigger on Saturday, my inlaws will be visiting for the weekend and trying to make it out of the house for yet another appointment probably will be sketch. They picked a bad weekend to come. But I've already told them that it was fine and they could come visit, so I would feel bad asking them to reschedule now. Hmph. Khair, breathing in and breathing out. It shall all be okay.

. . . .

It's 4:45 now and my anxiety is peaking. My hands started to shake because I felt like my gut was in my throat. I asked my husband to just tell them to come another weekend. I don't know why I feel what I feel, but if I'm feeling like this already and it's only Wednesday, then come Friday and this weekend, I know I won't want to be hosting anyone or making small talk when there's only going to be one thing on my mind.

. . . .

He called them on his way home from work and thankfully, they were able to change their plans. I didn't want to remain in limbo and ask them to redo their weekend schedule last minute so I'm glad we got it out of the way.

We did the gonal-f injection on the lower right side of my abdomen today. I barely felt it when we did it on Monday on the left side, but today, my goodness, the worst pinch. I think he accidentally pushed the whole injection with a little bit too much enthusiasm instead of just pushing in the punger. But alhumudulillah, no bruise, no foul. Just a little sore there and some pressure. Same thing happened with feeling pressure Monday night too so I'm going to chalk it up to what is meant to happen, unless something else comes up.

It's not even 11 PM yet but I am thoroughly defeated and exhausted today. I wish I didn't have to wake to an alarm in the morning. I want to sleep for a whole 24 hours. Please please let the little follicle grow and become nice and ready by Friday morning, Please.