Chapter 5: Letrozole Day 3

For some reason today, and I don't think it had to do with any side effects from the medication, I was ravishingly hungry today. All day. I had made it such a point to make sure I was eating only good whole foods, and did not want to fall into the easy carbs. It worked... for most of the day, at least.

I had a decent breakfast: boiled eggs (although I love soft boiled, I've been feeling as if hard boiled are probably better for me right now to ensure that it's cooked all the way through but correct me if there's no need to give up my soft boiled preferences), a handful of mixed nuts, and a few cubes of cheddar cheese. All with a side of water! Who am I? I miss my morning coffee so. But anyway, I did pretty well at keeping my desires at bay for the first half of the day.

I was teaching again after I had my breakfast, and not even an hour later, my stomach started rumbling again! It hadn't even been that long since I last ate! I was so confused. I chopped up the remaining celery than I had in the refrigerator and chowed it down with the chipotle ranch that gives me just enough spice kick but not enough to activate my reflux. It made for a great little snack.

Time to teach my next lesson, and immediately after, as if clock work, my stomach groans again. Perpetual hunger, I tell you. I reheated the leftover spinach and mushroom pasta from who knows when, and ate that with some more cubed cheddar cheese. But did that help to satisfy me? NOPE. Not even 20 minutes later, I was back in the kitchen. I couldn't help but to laugh at myself. Thankfully we're pretty stocked up right now, so I wasn't making myself hangry. Otherwise, my husband would have come home from work to face a wolf instead of his wife. I washed up some green grapes and had a bowl full, alongside some more cheese. What is it with me and cheese? I'm a salty snacker and cheese just immediately makes me feel like I'm doing everything right. Although, this morning I wanted to make a goat cheese and sundried tomato omelette but then remembered reading something about avoiding soft cheeses but couldn't remember if I had to even while TTC, and was just so hungry at that point, that I skipped the chance to look it up, and just boiled the eggs instead. I still want that omelette, even though it's almost 11 PM.

By the time I finished the grapes, I feel like I was finally somewhat okay to function the remaining of the day. It was almost 5 PM and I knew I should be able to make it to dinner. I've been taking my Letrozole at 7:30 and although it says I don't have to take it with food, I have been anyway, just to make sure it doesn't upset my stomach. So like clockwork, at 7 PM, my stomach rings its bells again. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I managed to make it to Maghrib time because I didn't want to eat dinner alone again and leave my husband alone as well. He's been fasting, so I forced myself to wait an hour to just eat with him. I ate leftover dahi vadai; I don't like to eat much for dinner since I'd rather have a heavier lunch. Except I should have known that would not work for me because it's now five to eleven, and guess what - I'm hungry again. I should probably just go to sleep and will the hunger away until breakfast.

. . . .

I called CVS Caremark like they told me to, should I not hear from them by COB today. I called right before 5 PM and the rep told me that they were still waiting to hear back on authorization from insurance. She goes on to ask me when I need my medication by. I have to take the Gonal-F on June 1st, so I tell her, and her response, "The earliest we can get it to you is June 2nd."

Lady. I don't mean to be rude, but you just asked me when I need the meds, I told you, and then you told me no. There's no no's happening here. I can only take the medication on the 9th day of my cycle which will be on June 1st, so please, if you don't mind, figure out a way to get them to be by 6/1, otherwise I will come down to where I need to and walk out with them in my hand. I'm guessing she sensed that I would do whatever it took to get those meds at my door and in my hand in time, so she told she'd push my message along to the top. Now I need to call back again first thing in the morning to confirm delivery dates (which was what today's call was supposed to be but okay, sure...). Here's to hoping I can confirm it tomorrow and the meds are shipped out because it would suck if everything gets thrown off because meds couldn't be delivered on time.

. . . .

Besides the hunger which I still don't think is an adverse side effect to the meds, but I need to read up on that some more, I got weirdly emotional for no reason. Okay, there was some reason. I just didn't expect to get as worked up about it as I did. It's cycle day 5 and I'm usually chill at this point, and relaxing, catching up on Netflix without being in pain. But my husband got home from work and started mentioning stuff, and it just hit me so hard. I could just feel myself tensing up and getting anxious, and I willed myself not to, because my current motto has been: R E L A X, so this was not helping.

Anyway, it lasted for about an hour. But then he realized that I was upset and came and apologized (for literally nothing lol but it happens, I just blame everything on hormones now), gave me a hug, and then I was fine. Seriously, why do we act like this? Women are nuts. 🥜 But the good men love us anyway and want the babies with us, so I guess it's fine :)

That's about it for today y'all. Two more doses on Letrozole! I send a message to my nurse earlier today to schedule out my appointment for IUI on cycle day 11 (June 3rd), so waiting to hear back from her. Will update on what she says when we know. Duahs all around!