Chapter 23: Busy few weeks...

I haven't been here in a while. Last time, we left off with our decision to begin IVF, my mom's upcoming surgery, and the start of wedding planning for my brother.

Not sure if I've mentioned this yet or not, but I got laid off back in June from my teaching position.

Two weeks ago, I got a call from the same school asking if I would be open to coming back to teach grade 5 part-time. I took the job without a second thought (hello, IVF is $$$$$$$).

Sitting here now, watching my mom's every move, making sure she doesn't choke on her saliva or accidentally tilt her neck to the side, I'm thinking that I shouldn't have taken the job offer. Either that, or we delay IVF and pick it up when things have settled around here some.

I presented the options to my husband this morning in a moment of feeling extremely overwhelmed and he just held me close and reminded me how long we've been waiting for something like this. This could be our chance. Mom would be okay and wedding planning would continue and my part-time job would keep my mind occupied. The answer is clear to me, too. But seeing my mother in the extremely dependent and vulnerable position that she is in right now three days post c-spine surgery, it's hard to focus on the big picture.

Today is my last day of taking birth control. My pre-IVF appointment to do my mock embryo transfer was on Aug 13th and the doctor and sonographer said that everything looked "just perfect." Hearing the word perfect while going through treatment is always a sigh of relief, but does make me question if everything is so perfect, then why are we having to go through all this. Pushing the negative nancy from my head, I focused on the good news, and continued on. Thankfully, beyond the initial bad headaches I was getting from the BCP, I didn't feel any adverse effects alhumdulillah.

My baseline bloodwork and ultrasound to begin IVF is tomorrow morning, so I'll be starting stims tomorrow as well. I've been at my mom's since Wednesday but have to drive back home tonight for my 7 AM appointment tomorrow morning. Hubs and I decided that I should stay at my mom's to help with her for at least the next two weeks. So I'll be packing for that when I get home tonight, plus anything I'll need for teaching, alongside all my meds. I'll be back here after I get done with teaching for the day tomorrow, insha'Allah. We're also debating on whether we should go to the Shady Grove office that's closer to my parent's house but I'm not sure I want to start with new doctors and nurses for this now that I've been seeing them for so long and actually like the clinic. Once we decide, will decide how to proceed.

I sat down with my brother yesterday to do some more wedding planning. Him and I have been switching off nights of staying awake while my Mom sleeps jus to we're here if she needs anything. Only 3 days post-op though, and she already tried going to the restroom herself bc my brother had dozed off around 5 AM and she didn't want to wake him. Sometimes I cannot with this lady haha.

All in all, it's currently an extremely stressful and busy time in our lives. I'm trying to take it as easy as possible because I know once I start the stimulation meds, I'll need to be chilllll and zen. Pray for me, y'all. Please keep my mother in your duahs and send along the good luck and baby dust. Bismillah.