Chapter 19: Gonal-F headaches are no joke

I have been working on this post for three days now, friends 😅But I've managed to finally get it up...

. . . .

I have been feeling as if someone has taken my head, banged it on the floor a couple times, had a train ride over it, and then when there was no more that it could bear, placed it back on my head to ache. The headaches have been so constant and painful, I was very close to stopping the meds because of it.

Let me backtrack though.

I haven't been able to sit in front of a screen for too long because of the headaches. Last week Thursday, on July 4th, I had to take my first gonal-f shot for this cycle. I took my second one on Saturday, no problem. The headaches began Sunday night and have lasted me all dang on week. I was hoping, "Oh, maybe since I'm feeling some side effects, my body may be responding better this cycle." But nope. When I went in on Monday morning for my monitoring appointment, the follicles were all teeny tiny. I could barely notice them until the doctor pointed them out to me.

My hope deflated.

The nurse called me later that afternoon and said that I needed to take a third gonal-f shot that night, and then a fourth one on Wednesday night, and then return to the office on Thursday morning for monitoring.

The shots this time have also been painful. I barely felt a pinch doing them last time around. But my injection site has bled (like a couple drops) consistently each time this cycle. I have felt the sharp needle and the medicine this time, each time. It knocks the breath out of me every time, and I have to grab onto something for support as to not wince in pain and scare my husband into pausing mid-shot. Although I've been icing the area before and after, it's just been a more painful process. That, coupled with the ongoing headaches, and it has not been fun. The headaches also seem to begin as the evening progresses, and then get worse the closer it is to bedtime. So sleeping with them has been almost impossible. On the third night of the gonal-f shot, it became unbearable and I begrudgingly popped two Tylenol, willing the pain to go away.

. . . .

On Thursday, July 9th, I woke up with a whole plan for the day. My mother in-law, sister in-law, and my husband's aunt were coming over later in the afternoon to spend the day and night with us, before going back home Friday evening. I really just wanted some good news. It had been a whole week of me taking gonal-f at this point, and I didn't want to do it anymore. I needed it to be a good day.

I went in for my appointment, and y'all, as I saw the doctor walk to the front desk to talk to one of the receptionists, my heart plummeted. The one time that I didn't confirm before making my appointment, it was a male doctor working. You know by now that there ain't no way I am undressing for a transvaginal ultrasound with a man in the room. When I got checked in, I leaned in to the receptionist (keeping my social distance), and asked if there were any female doctors working today. I've realized by now that there's usually only one doctor working at a time. She confirmed my suspicions. I paused and stared at her blankly, trying to think of what to do. I asked if I could be transferred for a later appointment to a different location. She could sense my hesitation. Thankfully, the sonographer working that day was female, and the same one that had done my ultrasound on Wednesday. She told me that the sonographer would take care of me, and I thanked God for letting this be better news for the day.

I got my blood work done and the tech was so sweet. I've been giving the same left arm over and over to get poked and prodded. She's taken my blood a few times now, so she goes, "Do you always use your left side?" I went on to tell her the story of how when I was younger, I'd always want the lab to use my left arm because I'm a righty (also a nerd), and I didn't want my right arm to hurt because I needed it to write. Except they would prick and prod with no luck. Barely any drops would come out. I'd eventually have to give in and give them my right arm. So now that the blood flows freely (not sure why it does now though haha), I give my left arm all the time. She said it looks pretty good for the amount of times it's been pricked at in the past few months, so I take that as a win. She may be my favorite med tech because she always makes conversation with me. It gets my mind off of the ultrasound results to come.

When the sonographer came in, she was excited and bubbly. Her enthusiasm to see how my follicles had developed over the past 24 hours was contagious. I had two follicles that were growing really nicely, both on my right ovary. One was 19 mm and the other was 15.3 mm. The uterine lining was thickening nicely as well; she said it looked like tri-layers which was the first time I've heard that for my lining so I'll take it (no estrace for me this go around!). She said the doc may want me to take one last dose of gonal-f but it's unlikely. When my nurse called me in the afternoon, she told me no more gonal-f (YAY), I could trigger Fri night (happy dance, too), no meds or shots or appointments on Sat (today), and then IUI tomorrow!

. . . .

I'm feeling a lot better this cycle. Aside from the pain and anguish I've been in for the past week, if (I want to say "when," but don't want to jinx it) this IUI works, it will have been worth the pain. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it was bearable. It just really sucked as I was going through it. I feel great today. My lining looked great. Both follicles were growing nicely. My trigger shot did not hurt AT ALL. I was so happy. Today, I've caught you up on the past week or so. I spent the past day and a half relaxing with my inlaws. I will spend today folding laundry, watching movies, and online shopping. Tomorrow, we say bismillah and do the deed (again).

Last cycle, after we dropped off my husband's sample, we went and got breakfast between his and my appointment. We plan on doing the same tomorrow to keep the tradition alive. It helps to ease my anxiety when I have him in the car with me to distract me. Even though I know that it's a 30 second thing, I just need him there. He can't be in the room with me because of COVID restrictions, but having him in the parking lot is good enough too.

Please send all the good thoughts, prayers, wishes, baby dust that you have to spare. We're hopeful again and excited for good results. Inshallah khair.